The Right Choice for Shooga


I want to write this poem because I just want you to know,

I love you more than anything, but have to let you go.

I have cared for you for a brief moment in time, and now that we are here,
I can’t imagine leaving you, I’m over come and can’t stop the tears.

So I will set my selfishness aside and try really hard to be strong.
Even though I know that I want you here with me, in my heart with me you will always belong.

We’ve had a couple months together, but it just is NOT enough
But the cruelty that bore us both into the world, to our love has given rebuff

So, please my love forgive me for the choice I have to make.
I would to God I didn’t have to, but to keep you here just for me would be a huge mistake.

What I have to do is killing me.  It’s breaking my heart to let you go.
But I trust that Jesus will watch over you, and I will pray for you always that you will be happy and grow and grow and grow!

I know that it is scary, I am afraid too.
I don’t want you to have to be alone, I don’t want to be alone either and that’s the fucking truth.

I know you will not understand and I wish I could let you see
How much I want my love to be enough and how hard this is or me.

No matter what does happen I hope that you can forgive
But I only wanted you to have the best life, one I couldn’t give.

It is something that is only possible if I completely let you go
Hand you to the loving arms of those who really know

I’ve had a lot of loss in my life but things were always taken away
This will be the first time I will be giving my baby away but also a way

to live.

Shooga, I love you so much and you will be with me everywhere I am, I know
-but God it hurts so very much to let my baby go


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